


Payne's Grey

by Uchiha_Riddle



Category: D Gray Man
Genre: A bit of crack in chapter 5, Allen x The whole world because he loves everyone, Happy ending ftw!, Lemon in chapter 6, M/M, Really really dark shit, This is actually just a peek into my own brain xP, Told from Tyki’s point of view, one-sided Road x Allen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 05:45:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4775849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uchiha_Riddle/pseuds/Uchiha_Riddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is like Payne’s Grey, it looks black but when it is on paper, it is a light shade of blue grey… As Tyki crushes Allen’s Innocence, he sees the exorcist’s eyes turn yellow for a moment and it changes everything. </p><p>Mostly consistent with the Manga up to chapter 196 page 21. Told from Tyki's point of view.</p><p>(A/Ns for chapters 1 to 7 lifted directly from my original post on FF.net)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was listening to Len’s Psychotic Love Song and reading the 1827 doujinshi called Proof and this was born.

_You become what you think most of the time._

_~Ralph Waldo Emerson_

* * *

 

**Warning: This chapter is M rated due to implications.**

* * *

 

He’s so beautiful. I can’t help but think so as my eyes caress his soft features, his agonized silver eyes shining in the soft moonlight. His pale lips and fair skin, begging me to touch even as he demands to know if I killed the exorcist, Suman Dark.

I smile wryly as I reply, enjoying the way he tenses and shakes in anger. More…I want to see more…so I tell him about my Tease and I demonstrate my power. Ah…this rush, the exhilarating feeling of having a part of myself buried within another person’s body.

The arousing feeling of power as I caress his heart within his chest. So soft, so tender. His warm heart beating wildly in my palm. I eagerly anticipate his reaction. What beautiful expression will he make?

In the next moment I am disappointed. For there is no panic, no fear within those eyes. No life. All there is, is determination. He stares at me with those strangely driven eyes, looking as though he has only one reason for his existence and so fears nothing. I feel a sense of unease. There’s something wrong with this boy.

I hide my discomfort with a slew of rubbish about getting my gloves dirty and finally get a reaction when I mention the others I’ve killed. I quickly elaborate, eagerly slipping back into my comfort zone as his expression darkens.

He tries to hit me and if I were standing I would have fallen over in incredulity at how he had fearlessly moved without consideration for the fact that my fingers were still wrapped around his heart. I take care not to damage him as I pull my hand from his chest while blocking his second swing.

It is far too easy to break his arm in payment for the redness on my cheek. Really, who’d have known that the small slip of a boy could backhand so well, I doubt the throbbing will go away till tomorrow…

He screams beautifully as I release him. The sound of his voice sending shivers down my spine as I mockingly lament on how I’d have liked to play cards with him again. I smile, feeling pleased that the odd boy could at least amuse me with his voice.

He remains silent as I inquire as to his identity. A moment passes before I become impatient. His neck feels so fragile under my strong fingers and I feel a sick pleasure knowing that were he to survive, he’d certainly have bruises to mark the places where I had touched him.

I can’t help but feel slightly sad when Cell confirms the boy’s identity. I am not usually one for that sort of thing but I would have loved to keep this one as a personal pet, the way Road collects the beautiful girls she finds and keeps them in her many dimensions. No doubt she would have lent me one of her rooms to keep this beautiful boy if I asked, oh well. Too bad.

I grin sadistically as I use my Dark Matter to sever his arm, making the process as slow and painful as I possibly can. He screams, long and loud. His eyes wide with pain and I wonder how he would sound in the throes of pleasure. Would he be as loud? Would his eyes be as wide or would they be half-lidded with lust?

It is such a pity that he will never get the opportunity to enjoy those sort of things. Somehow, I have no doubt that the boy is a virgin. I gaze with lust as he falls to the floor, the urge to take him is almost too much as I gaze at his prone form. I avoid his eyes, for he has that strange determined look in them again and it makes me uncomfortable.

I explain the Noah’s ability to destroy Innocence as I stand over his severed arm. He tells me to stop in a shaky voice and I wonder if he would say the same thing if I took him. He shouts as the glowing cube jumps into my hand. I turn to look at him, wanting to see the look in his eyes as I crush his Innocence.

My heart stops and I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not that I had looked. Because his eyes are a familiar shade of yellow-gold that I see every time I look at my fellow Noah. The remains of the Innocence slip through my fingers, blowing away with the wind.

Change of plans. I guess I’ll be bringing the boy back to the Earl with me. I walk over to kneel next to the boy. He mumbles something before his little yellow golem darts over to the other exorcist’s Innocence, scooping in into its mouth before flying off.

I grin wryly as I mentally instruct the nearby Akuma to retrieve it. I have more important things to do. I kneel down beside the boy, taunting him about how he has clearly resigned to death before reassuring him that I was not going to kill him.

I grin at his doubtful expression as I lean over him, reaching out to pull a deck of cards from his coat pocket. It’s the poker cards that I gave him back when we first met. The human half of me stirs, feeling oddly sentimental about it. The thought that the boy treasured our meeting to the point of carrying the deck with him everywhere stirring an obsessive affection in my chest.

Perhaps when I present him to the Earl and explain what happened, he may just let me keep this beauty. I pull the Ace card from the deck, smearing a streak of blood across it as I slide it pass the boy’s cheek, caressing his face with the card as I wished to with my bare hand.

I grin as I drop the rest of the cards on the floor and pocket the Ace card. His eyes watch me emotionlessly, completely devoid of fear. Like a shadow of a person that had given up trying to be real. I lift the teen into my arms. He is ridiculously light to my enhanced strength and for some reason, I suddenly feel as though I am carrying a fragile piece of glass that could shatter at any moment.

He’s breathing heavily. Not the type of heavy breathing that I’d like to hear though, for it is neither out of desperate fear nor erotic desire. It is the panting of a cornered animal. Savage and mindless. I almost drop him as he struggles in my arms.

This is getting irritating, so I use the fingers of my left hand to gently press a small spot on his neck that Sheril taught me about. He passes out almost immediately and I grin as I approach the newly opened Ark gate.

Then it happens. A gust of wind knocks me back, causing me to drop the boy on the cards that I disposed of on the ground. I growl as I glare at the swirl of powdery like substance rushing wildly around him as though protecting him from me. It glitters dimly in the night, and when I try to pass through it, I am fiercely rebuffed.

I frown. There is only one thing that can do that. Innocence, I glare as I try again to break through the tornado shielding the boy. I’m not sure how long it has been but my suit is in tatters and I have small lacerations all over my hands where I tried to break the foggy barrier.

Someone is coming. So I hide and watch as an oddly dressed female enters the fog without difficulty. This leads me to believe that the Innocence only protected him from me because I am a Noah or because I did not really have the good intentions that the woman has as she carries the badly wounded and barely breathing child on her back. The fog goes with her as she carries my pet away.

I am irritated. For I have seem to already consider the child as my property even though the Earl has yet to give him to me and this weird looking girl carries him away so easily where I could not. No matter, I will report this strange occurrence to the Earl and he will eventually be mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So~? How was it~? I’ve never written in this way before so I want to know what you guys think of it. Please review and tell me if you managed to understand what I was writing~! XD


	2. The Noah's Ark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind this mask of mine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, this one is definitely longer than the first chapter. This story is multi-chaptered but I doubt it will be a long one. Those who are waiting for my Mates for Eternity, just be patient, the good part is coming soon and it’s so long and I want it to be perfect. Please enjoy my interpretation of the Great Hoshino’s work~!

I hum contentedly as I easily consume the still living koi fish held by its tail between my fingers. I usually do this when I feel particularly sadistic, enjoying the squirming of the fish as it’s being eaten alive.

It’s probably strange but I find it really fun, using my Choose to eat the flesh of the fish without worrying about fish bones. I grin as I pull the remainders of the fish away, eyeing the perfect skeletal structure of the koi.

Somehow it makes me feel smug that I alone can boast to being able to clean up every speck of flesh on a fish without any difficulty or extended periods of time needed. However, this time I am doing this not for entertainment but because I feel so restless that I need to use my powers in any way possible.

When I told the Earl of what had happened and presented him with the blood smeared card, he became almost hysterical with joy and relief. The 14th huh…I can’t help but feel a little disappointed, if the boy really turns into the 14th it means that I can’t keep him as we’ll be the same rank.

I snort, I probably wouldn’t want him as a pet anymore anyway. The Noah of Destruction. I wonder what he’s like. The Earl wouldn’t tell me much but he said that the last generation of Noah -save Road- had been killed by the 14th, though the Earl didn’t seem to hate the 14th for betraying us. There must be more to the story than I know of.

I glance at the Tease sitting on my knee. The image is projecting perfectly and I find myself almost drooling at the sight of the beautiful boy’s firm abdomen. The tight half-top he is wearing allowing me the beautiful sight of slightly hardened nipples pressing against the fabric.

I was instructed to watch the boy and try to figure him out. Easier said than done. The kid is a walking wet dream seriously! Maa…it was easy to get my Tease in though, just sending it across the Ark with a level 3 Akuma was a good idea, my Tease easily slipping through the walls and barriers guarding the headquarters.

This way I get to stalk the boy and place the Akuma in a good position to attack when he finishes breaking the barriers to allow an Ark gate to open inside the underground building. Two birds with one stone~! I grin, watching with awe as the boy moves fluidly during his spar.

He is clearly frustrated I can see but something makes me feel uncomfortable as I watch him. He’s too driven. Too focused. He’s like a robot with only one objective, throwing himself headfirst into everything with only one thing in mind. I can’t understand it. It’s like I’m looking at an incomplete puzzle. Frustrating and aggravating.

I watch as he struggles. It’s like watching a cripple trying to walk on one leg without supports. It makes me irritated…

_~Poker Pair~_

I grin as I call out to the boy and his friends. He turns to me with wide eyes. Ah, he’s even more beautiful in person now. I find myself wondering if his now spiky hair is still as soft as before or has it become hard to keep that interesting position.

Giving in to the temptation, I reach forward to thread my fingers through his hair as I lean in close. He looks up at me through his bangs with eyes wide in confusion and I can’t help but find the shy expression endearing, that way he looks at me with those big silver eyes.

I abruptly remember my place and with an internal sigh, I bash my head against his, demanding to know why he’s alive. As though I had not purposefully spared him.

He’s making some really cute sounds as he grips his forehead and I want to pry his hands away to kiss him where it hurts. He turns to me with the most adorable scowl I’ve ever seen and a demand on his lips when he freezes. The look in his eyes says that he’s finally recognized me and I discard my disguise.

I wonder what he’ll look like when he’s a Noah. All that creamy white skin dulling into a dark umber like mine, somehow I want to see that. I make my speech and leave, watching their progress with Road by my side. She seems delighted that Allen is the 14th, she speaks of him with such a soft tone and I realise she’s in love with the 14th Noah.

I feel uncertain. I don’t know who the 14th is but it is likely that Allen will disappear when he takes over and I don’t know if that is something I want or not. For I have been taken by Allen Walker, not the 14th Noah.

We cry at Skin’s death even though I had no affection for the brutish man and I wonder if I would cry if Allen died. If I would cry because of the Noah or for the loss of the boy. If I would cry when the 14th takes over and Allen Walker disappears.

_~Poker Pair~_

Road and I wait at the top of the Ark. I can’t help but be impressed by the little group’s progress though the boy’s trauma was quite amusing to watch. Anticipation wells in my chest as the door opens and I fight the urge to do what Road does, flying towards the boy and capturing his lips.

It doesn’t make me jealous. I know she was involved with the 14th and I understand how overwhelming it must be to be so near yet so far to her beloved. Still, I subtly call her away from the boy, feeling a bit perturbed at the sight of her kissing my exorcist.

I don’t understand this boy. He has just been kissed by a Noah yet he looks unaffected. Shouldn’t there be some reaction to being kissed by an enemy? Even his friends look like they’re about to have aneurysms yet he simply focuses on me.

I feel my heart beat faster in excitement. He’s looking at me. Not Road or his own friends, me. I converse pleasantly with him for a while, trying to suppress my urges. In this short amount of time, he’s become my obsession. I want to figure him out. I want to know everything there is to know about him. I want to possess him.

Our battle is fierce and everything he says only confuses me even more. The boy is a walking contradiction. I watch him within my vacuum. He looks so defeated, or so I think, for when I see his eyes, I see that he is still fighting.

I want to feel him again. So I shove my hand through his chest to feel his heart once more. He reacts in an interesting way. His power has increased and he’s now giving off the amount of power I’d expect to see from a General…no…it’s more than that.

I shudder in fear at the immense raw power. It’s unrefined and uncontrolled but I think even Cross can not possibly match this power. He strikes me. It hurts. My Noah is screaming. It hurts. He says he’ll destroy my Noah. He wants to save me.

How ironic, for he will eventually turn into a Noah himself. Still, a part of me feels happy. Have I become so obsessed that any small sign of affection or care from him makes my heart ache? Road rushes to me and I gesture for her to stop. This is fine. I wish to see his face as he does it. I want to see what he’s thinking and I still seriously doubt that he can kill my Noah. Even his arrogance is endearing in my eyes.

He stabs me and I feel like I am dying. It hurts but not more than the look on his face. I see…this is why he struggles. I understand now. The look in his eyes, is one I’ve seen many times in my wanderings. It is the look of someone who has lost hope. Someone who no longer lives for himself. Someone who is nothing more than his mission.

He had that look also, that Japanese boy. Yet I have no interest in him. Perhaps it is because that boy is filled with hatred towards the world. Nothing too uncommon for I have seen many people who curse God and scream their hatred to the world. It is this boy who catches my eye. And now I understand why.

He’s not like most people I’ve seen, living for drugs or an important person, nor does he hate the world for all he has suffered. No, this strange and amazing boy loves the world. He loves the world so much that the burden has crushed his self. He is nothing but love. Nothing but fear and desperation. He is so full of it, so full of love and so full of fear, the fear of loss. To the point where he has no room for anything else.

I caress his face as I feel my energy fading. He is such a sad and beautiful creature. I feel pain as my black and white sides reach out to him, wanting to take some of his burden. Even if he becomes the 14th Noah, I want to help him for as long as he exists. I feel my Noah writhing within me as he withdraws the blade and I fall to the floor.

**I won’t let you.**

I won’t let you continue to hurt yourself like this. I won’t let you suppress yourself anymore! If I lose my Noah, I won’t have the power to save you. I won’t be able to share in your pain, to stand by your side. Sorry, Shonen, but your idea of freedom…is not the same as mine.

I’m not sure how much time has passed, fighting to preserve my Noah. As I struggle, my own inner workings become clearer to me. I have always been afraid of accepting my Noah, afraid of losing my friends. So I only let it in halfway, terrified that it would one day take over me the way it did Skin. I don’t want to become a puppet. I am Tyki Mikk. Not just the Noah of Pleasure.

Yet now, as I fight to keep my Noah, I realise that in my rejection of it, I never listened. I never heard the cries of agony, the pleadings, the sufferings. I never understood that by rejecting my Noah, Joido, I was hurting both the Noah and myself. For some reason, the pain spreading through my body from the invisible wound in my chest, is clearing my mind.

I now understand how my Noah, as a part of me, could not leave to become its own being (for even the Noah memories within me do not enjoy being simply used for the power they wield) and my rejection meant that it could not join with me, to share in my life. To feel the pleasure of being alive, even if it’s only through me.

I locked it away, fearing that it would control me. I wouldn’t listen to Road when she and the others tried to make me understand that it was not always like the Noah of Wrath. That the Noah are memories and yet they are apart of us too. Our memories. How can I deny the addition of good memories to the Noah within me?

I’m a coward. I realise, as I watch silently as Joido wreak havoc in the Ark. So scared that I was not strong enough to merge properly, that I didn’t even try. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, that was depressing…don’t worry, it will get more interesting soon~! This chapter was more like an analysis of Tyki and Allen, we don’t actually know much about either of them, or the Noah, or the Order, or anyone really, but this is like my theory if placed in a Poker Pair setting. I’m kinda filling the blanks and doing some Poker Pair at the same time.  
> A bit of advertising for my favourite BL game company, if you guy are wondering, I sort of got the idea of the half-assed rejection hurting both parties from Nirto+CHiRAL’s latest visual novel, DRAMAtical Murder. If you love yaoi as much as I do and if you like techo themes, please go check it out and if you like it, please buy it for me since I’d love to but my country has a serious ban on yaoi. Even gay sex isn’t allowed in my country…though lesbians are allowed, what’s up with that!? Anyway, it’s in Japanese but the English patch has been released on Aarinfantasy so everyone can play it in English, yay~!  
> Please review if you have any questions or spot any mistakes, as always, all my stories are unbetaed so please forgive any mistakes. Plus I’m writing this really late at night or early in the morning, depends, is 2am early or late~? …I hope everyone enjoys this, again please leave a review and tell me what you think, kay~?


	3. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insight from the inside...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was listening to a rather creepy version of Carol of the Bells, it’s in an AMV on YouTube called D. Gray Man - Welcome to the Noah Family, 14TH. I noticed that no one seemed to notice the joke I tried to put into the last chapter about Tyki eating fish with his powers since I find eating fish very tiring…ah well, I thought it was funny…guess not…I promise that I’m working on Mates for Eternity, fighting scenes are just really hard for me… Anyway, please enjoy the shit that I wrote while half asleep. Tada~!

_If you press me to say why I loved him,_

_I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I._

_~Michel de Montaigne_

**Ding~** dong~ **ding~** dong~

I watch passively as the large clock chimes. The new generation of Noah have awoken. I can’t say I really like them, especially that Wisely kid. He pulled me aside and said something like, “You won’t lose him.”

What the hell? I can tell he means Allen and I get that he can read minds so he probably knows of my obsession with the boy, the gratitude and loyalty I feel towards him for freeing me from my own chains. And possibly the love I have for this amazing child.

I figured it out when I came to my senses after the Earl saved me from that nasty Cross guy. The feeling deep within my chest tells me that it is thanks to Allen Walker that my heart is no longer trapped within that horrid conflict within me that I didn’t even notice until it was gone. I feel so light, so free, so certain. And I have the child to thank.

It takes a while but I manage to locate Road. I speak with her, asking her about the 14th and Allen. She says that’s Nea’s power. Destruction. He could destroy anything, pain, fear, loneliness and sorrow. He could destroy the chains that hold down the heart. It was dangerous though. She threatens me that I am not to reveal anything she tells me to anyone and I can only nod as she jabs her scary candles at me. The truth was that many years ago, the Earl had begged Nea to destroy the pain he had held within his heart since the three days of darkness.

Nea had agreed with reluctance until as he stabbed the Earl, he realised that the Earl desired death as Nea was the only one with the power of Destruction and could even destroy something as powerful and eternal as the Earl. Nea had halted the process. But because it was incomplete, the Earl was left with neither freedom nor enslavement and he began to lose his mind.

The Earl leaked to the Exorcists that it was Nea who killed the pervious generation of Noah but it had truly been himself. Nea had tried to protect the Noah from the powerful and insane Earl but soon realised that it was himself that the Earl needed before his madness would stop. For Nea had hurt the Earl with his partial exorcism and it needed his blood to heal.

Sacrificing himself to save Road, Nea fell to the Earl’s mindless anger and only after he was dead did the Earl realise what he had done and grieved. And Road could only comfort the murderer of the man who she loved, the man who freed her from the hate and pain that she had been inflicted with since the day she was raped at 13 years old, triggering her transformation. She had hated everything and become a cruel creature that killed men indiscriminately.

Nea had stopped her, destroying the pain and freeing her from her bloodlust. He taught her how to be a child, since she had not had the opportunity and for once she treasured her unchanging age. For it allowed her to enjoy the childhood she didn’t get to have. Forever.

I understand. Even as my bloodlust grows, wishing I had the opportunity to torture the man who hurt my family member. I realise that I feel respect for the 14th as I hear her story. To carry the weight of other people’s pain. Then I realise that that’s what Allen Walker is doing and I come to a wonderful conclusion.

Allen Walker is Nea. Or more like a part of him. A persona that was created in the absence of Nea’s memories. I share this theory with Road and she agrees. She has already come to that conclusion as she has seen the similarities in their personalities. It is what drew her to Allen in the first place, the shadow of the man she loved.

I realise that I am happy that even when Nea re-emerges, Allen Walker will not disappear, that he will only be more beautiful when he is complete. I decide that I will do everything in my power to make sure that he regains his memories. I am convinced that the suffering he is in will be lessened when he has his full memories.

I need to save him. I will do anything. For I love him. Just like Road and the Earl and many others who Nea has freed. I would feel possessive if not for the fact that I understand why they love him. How could they not desire to give everything for someone who loves and hurts so much for everyone?

It does feel slightly painful, knowing that the love he feels for even me is just the same that he feels for every human and Akuma alike. Yet I cannot ask for more. I would be contented with anything he wished to give me. For as much as even us Noah are loyal to our duty, we who have been touched by him, cannot help but worship him.

So powerful yet loving, he is like a God for us. The one person that we will give anything to be closer to. The one who draws us to protect and serve without even trying. If anyone can accomplish the goals of the Noah with love rather than the hate we have been using, it is him. The one who captures the hearts of Noah, Exorcists and Akuma alike.

Our God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So…how was it~? Please review~! Let me know if you understood this, many people tell me that I’m quite random and I’m afraid that it seems to show in this type of writing. I do hope it wasn’t too non-sequitur, even I have trouble following my own thought patterns…anyway, any questions or comments or even one word comments, please review and I might write the next chapter faster~


	4. For Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prelude...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi all~! To make up for the amount of time it’s been since I updated, here’s a longer chapter~! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to Julia the White…I’m not entirely sure how to respond to that, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are genuinely unaware about this style of writing. I’m basically writing in a purposefully vagueish manner with non-sequitur thought patterns. It isn’t a narrative so there won’t actually be any dialogue and as for character development…I’m not sure what you mean by that, I’ll assume it’s like character building…so…umm…isn’t the character already built and as fanfic Authors, we’re just giving our interpretations of said character? Besides, I think I’ve been doing nothing but character building actually. If I’m wrong about anything I’ve said so far, please leave another review to tell me and I’ll get back to you asap. Anyway, time to start the show, roll film~!

_Everything I do is for him._

_~Merlin from BBC’s Merlin_

I watch with hooded eyes from within a nearby rock. My heart racing at the mere sight of his face, desiring a taste of that dark red blood trickling from his left eye. The Third Exorcist says something and I can see the tightness of anger in his body as he throws an easily blocked punch at his comrade. I listen with irritation as the arrogant man taunts him and I decide that it is time to reveal myself.

I greet him with a smile as I gleefully sever the arms of the Third Exorcist. He speaks my name and I suppress a shudder at the sound of my human name rolling off his tongue in that beautiful voice of his. It just makes me want to hide him away, to keep him all to myself. Yes, I suppose I am selfish, really, I’m the Noah of Pleasure. What else would I be but selfish?

Sheril and Maashiima appear behind me as I gleefully state that we are hunting exorcists. I watch fondly as he predictably uses his ‘Clown Belt’- what an endearing name- to collect his injured comrade before escaping with the two humans and the other Third Exorcist. My obsession really does love him too much.

It is too easy to follow them and use the Ark to enter the cave where they have barricaded themselves. Sheril is busy kidnapping the Third Exorcist that annoyed my selfless beloved and I can’t really bring myself to care as I quickly stun the long haired Third Exorcist before tossing him at Maashiima who has just landed a blow on my treasure. I can’t help but feel slightly irritated at that.

Sheril quickly goes through the Ark gate to where the Earl and Wisely have prepared the stage. He draws his sword and I feel my blood soar as I battle the beautiful white haired teenager. His beautiful eyes are alight with fire and his dishevelled appearance makes me want to ravage him against my bedroom wall. Well, any wall will do really, I probably wouldn’t even mind an audience at this point.

He pursues me as we clash repeatedly in the large cave, the way he stares so intensely at me sends a thrill down my spine and fills my blood with desire. His short cloak fell off some time ago and I subtly eye the pale expanse of his chest that his slightly open shirt reveals, noting that his chest and underarms are lacking in the hair that are usually present in men.

A random though enters my mind and I wonder if he shaves or is just simply that undeveloped. Or perhaps it is like how my Noah removes such unsightly and uncomfortable body additions and that his Innocence does the same? I mean, it is a parasite type, maybe it affected his growth of facial and body hair?

My musings are lost as my eyes are drawn to his body again. The delicious glimpse of his chest and shoulders makes it so hard to continuously bait him and distract him to keep him here long enough for the Earl to be ready for our arrival. I wonder if my similarly designed coat is distracting him?

This design certainly does reveal my toned chest and hard abdomen after all, and such a sight cannot possibly be unappealing to him…suddenly I have the urge to strip for him, to see if my body is to his liking. I shake the silly thoughts out of my head. Maybe if he ever accepts me as his lover then we could do something like that.

I sigh as I dodge another swing of his sword, I probably shouldn’t let that stab me a second time. I really wish we didn’t have to go through this convoluted plan and simply whisk the boy away to brother Sheril’s mansion. My body aches to be closer to him and I really don’t want to wait to begin courting him.

Buuutt…I suppose I understand the need to get him to come willingly, he is stubborn enough that he probably wouldn’t listen to what we have to say and continuously try to escape unless he chooses to leave. Though I’m not sure he will leave even if he has proof of the Black Order’s cruelty. Besides, I don’t really want to force him either. He is too precious and I suppose that despite my dark desires, I don’t really want to hurt him.

No, I want to protect him from the world. I want to lock him up and hide him where he can devote all of that amazingly unconditional love towards me. I want to hold him in my arms and shield him from everything that causes him emotional pain.

And yet, if he were weak enough for me to do that, I would not respect him nearly as much as I do now. So yes, I do see the reasons for this stupidly complex plan that has so many opportunities to go wrong but I still want to strangle Sheril to make him hurry up with the preparations.

Finally, the signal comes from my brother and I jump backwards into the Ark gate. The boy follows me as predicted, demanding that I return his comrades as we emerge in the Black Order’s North Branch Headquarters.

A sense of surrealism courses through me as we shout the exact same thing to the large clown standing conveniently where we are about to land. His face is adorably comical as he realises that we have both landed on the Millennium Earl and I feel mildly embarrassed that I basically take orders from this absolutely lame character.

I mutter something about having already warned the Earl to move before eagerly turning to the teenager with a wide grin. “Welcome, Allen Walker.” I announce grandly as he takes in the stage that we painstakingly set for him. His eyes go immediately to his friends who are bound by my brother’s invisible strings and I want to roll my eyes.

He called out to the Japanese boy but it is my brother who replies. The irritating disarmed Third Exorcist shouts a question that I answer. Smiling with pleasure at the sight of brother Sheril sitting on top of the overturned coffin, the added weight pressing the side of the coffin cruelly on the man’s hip.

Perhaps I’m being petty, still feeling irritated at the Third Exorcist for mocking my beloved but never let it be said that the Noah of Pleasure is above pettiness. I do enjoy bullying after all, it’s an odd fetish of Joido’s I suppose.

Speaking of fetishes, I find myself holding back a wince when Allen says something about all Noahs being perverts. Really, I know brother Sheril is a pervert, he even pervs on me, but why all? I do hope he doesn’t include me in that, I’m not a pervert! ….really! …I’m serious!

…okay maybe a little and only what it comes to my obsession who happens to be standing really close with his vulnerable back to me and doesn’t seem to realise how hard it is for me to keep myself from reaching out and pulling him flush against my body…fine, I give up. I am a pervert. I slap myself mentally.

I jump as Sheril glares at us, reminding the two of us that we are still standing on top of the Earl. He seems particularly upset at me but I really can’t be bothered. We hop off the Earl and I tell Allen that we are here for him. Somehow, I feel really flattered that he seems so comfortable around me that without noticing, he has dropped his guard slightly.

I allow the Earl to manhandle him, knowing that Adam will not hurt my beloved much for he too loves the boy. The Earl reveals why we are here and the boy denies the Earl’s claims. I try not to think about how erotic he looks, pinned down like that and how aggravating it is that it is the Earl pinning him to the floor and not me.

These thoughts are thrown out of my mind however, when Nea emerges. He confirms that the Earl’s words are true and he reaches up to caress the Earl’s face. He smiles beautifully as he speaks words of forgiveness. I feel a pang as the Earl’s shoulders shake. How fortunate the Earl is, to be loved by this person.

He glances at me over the Earl’s shoulder and smiles. My breath catches at the soft look in his eyes, heart rate speeding up and my chest clenching. What is this feeling? This ecstasy and pain that swells deep within me. What is this joy, this sorrow that those eyes ignite within my veins?

The moment passes and he is screaming in denial, gripping his hair and coughing up blood. I can see it in his eyes, the fear. The fear of disappearing, of being replaced and I understand why he refuses to allow his true memories to completely resurface. After all, I too have felt it before.

My heart aches when he declares that he will rather die than become the 14th and I want to comfort him. To assure him that he is a part of the 14th and that he will only become complete rather than disappear. I distinctly note that I found his headbutt extremely hilarious and would like to see him do that to the Earl again. His dark aura is also extremely arousing for some reason.

He’s complaining about being dragged into our family affairs and he suddenly appears very adorable in my eyes. Hearts appear in my eyes as I gaze in admiration at his strong yet childlike determination as he pretty much throws a tantrum in front of us.

My eyes snap back into battle mode as my heightened senses alert bring my attention to the killer intent directed at the Earl. I jump forward just in time to block the swordsman’s katana from reaching the dazed Earl. The Innocence is deflected by my newly hardened skin and the Second Exorcist jumps back.

I take note of two things. First, my little one has flattened my brother by overturning the coffin he was sitting on. Stupid big perverted brother. Second, the shriek from Sheril alerts me to the fact that the swordsman has my niece clenched between his teeth. I wonder what he plans to do with her since it’s not possible to hurt her in her doll form.

My jaw drops when he pulls off her ribbon and uses it to tie his hair. Haaah? That’s why he grabbed her? …Exorcists are weird. I hop onto one of the pipes that brother Sheril has unearthed, enjoying the show from a better vantage. The Earl is talking about a celebration and I think I’d really rather celebrate after Allen is with us. This boy has a tendency to make plans go wrong.

Then the swordsman asks who the dead fish guy is and I retract my statement. All Exorcists make plans go wrong. The Earl, my brother and I turn to stab Wisely with our eyes. He waves his hands in a ‘not my fault’ manner and I want to bash his face in. He may have white hair like my little one but that chronic liar is nowhere near as cute as my Allen.

I decide that my ‘family member’ doesn’t deserve my attention and I return to staring at my beloved with hearts in my eyes. I distractedly notice that Road is taunting the swordsman, not very concerned even when he crushes her head in his palm. Perhaps she is taking advantage of her current invincibility to get a few digs in?

My obsession catches the dark haired man’s blade as he makes to stab my niece’s stomach. Ah, bless his soft heart, he says something about how his friend can’t even hurt her anyway and that they need to save his friends but I know that he just doesn’t want my niece to get hurt, on the off chance that she can actually feel any damage done to her.

It’s such a sweet gesture but I find myself too distracted by his ass to appreciate his kindness. I can’t tell if there’s drool coming out from my mouth and I really hope there isn’t any because Sheril will never let me live it down. But the way Allen is crouching down to gripping the swordsman’s blade is giving me a very nice view of the curve of his back and shapely ass.

I shift slightly, hoping that no one notices that my pants suddenly look a little tighter and try to think of something unpleasant. The memory of brother Sheril’s lips flying towards me is enough to make me vomit and my problem is replaced by the need to either find a chamber pot or hit my brother.

Then Wisely apparently deems the moment appropriate to use his powers to trap the swordsman inside the sleeping dude’s brain and manages to drag Allen and Road along for the ride. We don’t particularly mind, if Allen witnesses the memory as well, he’s likely to empathise and then more power to us.

It makes me feel a bit bad, using his kind heart to draw him to us but it has to be done.  
Everything I do is for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: How was it~? Sorry I haven’t updated for a while, so many things going on…I need a holiday from life… This chapter was really hard to do since I had to figure out what Tyki could have been thinking during the whole battle and we only saw him a few times. Anyway, as usual, please review, even one word is enough to make me happy. Just let me know that this story is actually being read, kay~?


	5. Till Death Do Us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come away with me child, to a land where dreams come true...or the chapter where Tyki finally gives up trying to be cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi~! I’m glad that it looks like you guys liked the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one too. As usual, many many thanks to everyone who reviewed and to Mery, the lemon should be in the next chapter, that is chapter 6. Patience is a virtue~!

_For your own good is a persuasive argument that will eventually_

_make a man agree to his own destruction._

_~Janet Frame_

I want to snicker. My little one managed to break Wisely’s mind shit by punching his friend. Sheril says something about the chronic liar’s chronic disease, aka immense headaches and labels it as Wisely’s Incompetence time. I feel a drop of sweat slide down the side of my face.

How cruel, even for brother Sheril…after all, the little mind reader is still a member of our family. I glance at the annoying kid as he rolls around, gripping his forehead and whinging about the pain.

…Nevermind. Sheril be as mean as he likes. I really can’t stand that brat.

Besides, I am much more interested in watching my beloved. The sleeping dude, Alma…I think, finally woke up and immediately began to strangle the boy’s friends and I am really curious as to how my love will behave from now on.

Millenni orders the new Akuma to kill the members of the Dark Order and I feel a slight pang in my chest at the horror on my Allen’s face. Ah well, the more horrified he is, the more likely he is to take the Earl’s offer. At Sheril’s prodding, I reluctantly pick up the still wailing brat just as the place explodes, jumping to a safer spot with the others as the Earl squeals about seeing the 14th in pain.

Sheesh, I know you’re a sadist like all Noah, Millenni but if you keep behaving like this, he’s not gonna to wanna come back…

I watch my beloved cry for that Third Exorcist who knees him in the back of his head. Now I really wish I had killed him. How dare that little…urgh…he has the sweet Allen crying over him and looking at him with big and grateful eyes and he’s absolutely not grateful.

I’m jealous. I know. But that starry-eyed look of adoration that my love is giving him is just aggravating. I mean, so he sent a few seals and saved Allen’s friends from getting killed in that blast. What’s so special about that? I could have easily done that with my awesome powers. Humph.

…I sound like a brat…a childish and jealous brat. Or a teenager in love. Well, I’m certainly in love but I am certainly not a teenager. I’ve been 26 for almost 10 years thank you very much. I am quite sure that I’m above such childish antics.

I glance at the brat in my arms. He’s stopped crying and the blast has long been over. I turn around and dump him on the floor. You know what? I think I wouldn’t mind being a little childish; is what I think as he curses and swears at me.

Huh…now that I think about it, I’ve been doing a lot of mental monologues. I wonder if that’s worrying…nah, I’ll worry when I hear voices in my head and I don’t mean Joido.

That Third Exorcist has begun to synchronize with that Alma guy and I really want to step in when he attacks my beloved. No one but me should be allowed to attack Allen in any way. Except maybe Road and the Earl. Everyone else are off limits.

I eye his pained expression and feel another stirring somewhere further down. I love him, I really do. But I’m still a sadist and the sight of his blood is driving me nuts. I watch him as he tries to stop his Innocence’s automatic reaction to the presence of a powerful Akuma.

His desperation is endearing but unless the Earl erases the Dark Matter in them, the little pests are doomed to be Akuma forever. I know that he is aware that there is nothing he can do, but he still wants to save them. He still tries. And that is what makes him beautiful.

His light shines the brightest in these situations and despite the pain I know it causes him, it gives me such a thrill to watch, to admire his strength and brilliance. A part of me hurts to see him so tormented but the rest of me is simply too busy basking in his light to care.

I watch as he struggles indecisively as the Akuma catches him, gripping the boy tightly with gigantic hands. It is then that the Earl makes his move. I feel a small grin curling my lips as Millenni offers to stop the little play that we prepared for Allen.

The boy freezes at his words. Agonized silver eyes widening in shock as the Earl explains how the Akuma are made from Dark Matter from his soul. I am barely aware of the battle between the swordsman and his childhood friend. It is more delicious to watch as the Akuma crushes Allen’s leg in its large grotesque hand. I’m not really worried about that leg. A little Noah blood and it’ll be right as rain.

One of the little scientists shouts to the Earl, asking why he wants Allen to go with us. I look into his eyes and I recognise that expression of utter devotion. He too has seen the boy’s light and I suppose he sees us as trying to take his light away. I wonder if he knows how the Dark Order has been suffocating that light. Perhaps if he knew, he wouldn’t be so upset about us stealing the boy away.

I glance at the Earl, wondering how he will respond to the question. I am taken aback when he easily says that he desires to be close to the 14th. Close huh…I hope he doesn’t want to be as close to the boy as I do. Cause I don’t think I’m strong enough to have a Mating rights battle with the Earl.

His eyes are a bit scary though. I’m quite sure that I’m considered very obsessed with the boy but the Earl’s expression screams unhealthy obsession. Though, it does not look much like the type of obsession I have, it looks more desperate. Like that blue haired guy who’s obsessed with finding his old girlfriend.

I notice that some of his Noah seems to have bled into his current consciousness since he’s looking at Millenni with a rather surprised and touched expression. That or he himself is blushing lightly because he actually feels slightly more sympathetic when he realises that the Earl just wants his precious 14th back.

Huh. Maybe we should have just gone for the honesty tactic. Millenni could tell him how much the 14th meant to him, Road could tell him how much she loved Nea, and I could confess my undying love for him and steal a kiss. Yeah. Like that would work…

Suddenly the blond guy with the sailor hat jumps up, shouting something about the blood of Chan and some guardian. Aah! I scowl as a familiar girl appears out of the small stone between his hands and rushes to free Allen from the Akuma.

That’s the weird girl who carried my little one away that night when I crushed his Innocence! …Wow…it feels like it’s been ages since then, I wonder why…

I growl as she talks to Allen inside a small bubble that has formed around them, protecting them from the Akuma and any outside interference. Well, I’m not going to let her talk him out of coming with us. I can already see that he is leaning towards accepting our offer and I won’t let her interfere!

I whisper something to Sheril before leaping towards the bubble. It may be strong enough to hold off a giant Akuma, but it is no match for the power of a Noah and I easily rip it open and shove the girl out, leaving the boy alone in the bubble. I grin as Sheril dutifully throws his threads of manipulation at the girl, using his powers to sew her lips shut while I turn to the boy.

 _It seems your heart has already decided. Come. It’s not a good idea to keep the Earl waiting._ Is what I say, as I extend a hand towards him. My heart pounding in my chest at he stares at my hand with indecision. His eyes are beautiful and as I expected, the lack of killer intent or any visible attack towards the girl has allowed her to escape his attention.

 _We will not hurt you and we will stop this horror. You just have to take my hand. Don’t worry, it’ll probably hurt but then you will only be complete and who you are will never disappear. I won’t let you, I promise._ I say with a reassuring smile, inserting as much honesty into my words as possible. Which is not hard since I am actually being honest.

He stares into my eyes. The intensity of his searching gaze is almost too much, but I keep my gaze steady because I know that everything rests on this. He is too important for me to fail. His eyes finally soften and he reaches out to take my hand.

I grin with happiness even as the shouts and protests of his friends echo across the crater. His hand is covered in bruises and cuts. Yet as I run my thumb across the back of his palm and feel the softness of his skin, I feel that he must have the most perfect hand in the whole world.

Even the gentle and manicured fingers of the ladies at balls are not as pleasing to the touch and I smile at him as I pull him closer. Trying not to let his injured leg touch the bubble’s surface, I easily swing him into my arms, carrying him as I would a bride on her wedding day.

He leans against my chest. It seems like he is too tired to protest against the way I am carrying him. I feel slightly worried at his sudden docility but then I realise that he has chosen to give up. To put himself in our care.

He probably expects us to be cruel, but I intend to give him love and comfort. Not to mention, his trust (or lack of care) it extremely arousing. As though he has submitted to me, even though I know he really hasn’t and it is more resignation than submission.

I almost want to laugh as the Earl relinquishes his hold on the Third Exorcists, allowing them and the Alma guy, to return to their original forms. Shouts echo behind us as we prepare to leave.

The Earl opens an Ark gate as Alma and the Third Exorcist collapse and Sheril releases the weird girl. She and the swordsman try to pursue us but we are already gone. I suppose that this day could be like a wedding day for us, Allen and I.

Because from this point on,

whether in sickness or in health,

till death do us part,

I will never let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WAAAAH~! I think I finished this in record time~! Done in three hours~! I didn’t think I could do something like that~! Anyway, as usual, I want to know what you guys think about this chapter. Was it good? Was it bad? Did it make sense? Did you understand the plot? Please answer, even if it’s a simple: yes no yes no. XD  
> Next chapter, the good bits are coming~! The desired lemon might be in the next chapter or it might be in the next next chapter~!


	6. The Sweetness of Losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The touch of your heart burns...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whew, I’ve been so busy lately, I think I’ve got steam coming out my ears… ahem…right, on to business. To AiMila, you’re completely right~! Like I said in the summary, this story is only mostly consistent with the Anime/Manga up to chapter 196 page 21, from here on out, it’s all my plot, I’m glad everyone seems to enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it and may the God of yaoi rain blessings upon everyone who reviewed~! XD

_If some things don't make you lose your sense of reason, then you have none to lose._

_~Gotthold Ephraim Lessing_

He is beautiful. I know I’ve thought it many times but it bears repeating. Soft white hair, fair skin gentle lips…this child must have been specially carved by God himself. I gently caress his face, shivering in delight at the soft smoothness against the backs of my fingers.

It has been a few hours since we returned to the mansion, cleaning him was a terrifyingly wonderful experience. The restraint I was forced to exercise as I gently washed his limp body was almost unbearable. Just remembering the smooth skin and slender limbs makes me hard and I quickly pull my hand away, not wanting to tempt myself further.

I glance at his leg. It is not broken anymore. As expected, a small transfusion of my blood was more than enough to heal all the damage done to him. The child now sleeps peacefully, looking absolutely sinful as he lies here, on my bed, in dark blue pyjamas that I used to wear.

My desire is almost uncontrollable and it is only my reverence and love for him that keeps me from attacking him as he slumbers. He stirs and I lean forward, trying to hide my eagerness as large silver eyes focus on me.

He whispers my name and I smile, a jolt of pleasure filling my body at the sound my name on his lips, spoken in his beautiful voice. He was dreaming, he tells me, dreaming of a loving mother and a beaming little brother called Mana. He glances at the door as it opens. I do not bother for I can sense who has entered and I cannot bring myself to look away from him yet.

The Earl enters and to my relief, he is not wearing that annoying body suit. The man sits on the other side of my beloved and I would be jealous if I did not already know that the man only cares for Nea like a son. I wonder what he will want to be called, will the child still wish to be called Allen or will he return to his former name of Nea when he is complete?

The Earl answers some of my little one’s questions and he nods slowly when he learns that he is actually a defence mechanism, a false personality created in the absence of his true memories. Adam tells him that if he wishes to know the truth of what happened and how he came to be, he will have to speak to Nea himself, the remnants of the Noah still remaining within his psyche.

This is my que to pull out a mirror shard that has been soaked in Adam’s blood for a few hours. After getting comfortable, Allen gazes into the piece of reflective glass and soon passes out. I wonder what is happening within his mind as I pull the blankets over the child and curl up at the foot of the bed, waiting patiently for him to re-emerge.

Time passes slowly and before I know it, I have fallen asleep, curled protectively around my beloved’s feet. I dream of the sun and warmth and a beautiful boy smiling by my side. It is such a lovely dream and I feel my heart sing at the thought of one day being able to be with him like that.

My waking is slow and I blink blearily as I glance around the room, rubbing my eyes as I search the room for my white haired beauty. I finally spot him standing by the window, a pensive expression on his fair features.

I call out to him softly as I slowly sit up. He turns to me, looking slightly surprised before smiling and commenting that I look surprisingly cute while sleeping. I find myself blushing slightly at the unexpected words, raising an eyebrow questioningly as he walks back to the bed and sits down beside me with a small smile.

There’s something strangely confident about the way he’s behaving now, as though he was at peace with himself and had accepted something that he’d been struggling with before. Which is probably the case. I lie down beside him like a cat would, keeping quiet as I wait for my beloved to speak.

He is silent for a while, before beginning his story. He tells me of how Nea had tried to grant the Earl peace until he realised that the only peace available to the first apostle was death. Panicking, the 14th had halted the process, causing the Earl to momentarily lose his sanity and go on a rampage.

Nea had been guilty and horrified that his actions had caused the deaths of his family members and that the damage was so bad that they would probably not be reborn for many years. Knowing that the Earl would need someone by his side in the coming years, Nea had sacrificed himself to protect Road and Mana.

The horrified Earl had left shortly after regaining his sanity, leaving Nea’s almost lifeless body in Mana’s arms while Road vanished to recover from the damage that she had sustained. Before passing out from blood loss, Mana had used Timcampy to call a young exorcist, whose life Nea had saved, to help them.

The young white haired exorcist was quick to arrive on the scene. According to Nea, Allen was an exorcist that was forced to work for the Black Order and a few years before the his ‘death’, Nea had ‘freed’ him from the chains of his Innocence, making it so that he would not become a Fallen if he did not serve the Order.

Allen had worshiped Nea from that point on and was always happy to help the Noah in any way necessary. Taking in the scene, Allen had offered to host the 14th Noah in his body, even though he knew that his consciousness would be consumed by Nea’s memories. Nea had been too weak to protest as the exorcist took him into himself.

Allen then spent the next few years taking care of Mana who had lost his mind from the trauma of seeing Nea’s dead body and nearly dying of blood loss himself. However, the effects of the Noah’s memories within Allen meant that his body began to regress and within 10 years, he was a 10 year old boy again. This was because his body needed to be ‘reborn’ as a complete Noah, rather that a mostly human body with fragments of the Noah gene.

Allen had left Mana, meeting various people to gain their support and make preparations for when he finally regressed to infancy. It was when he reached the age of a new born that Nea completely took over, changing their hair to red and becoming a true Noah. However, the unforseen circumstance was that at the same time, a few metres away, a human was being killed by an Akuma.

The poisonous gas covered the child and caused the transformation process to be disrupted. Nea’s memories were not correctly absorbed and the body became something of a hybrid, neither human nor Noah. Years later, when the new Allen’s Innocence first awoke, the process jump started again, and unaware, he had begun to reassimilate the Noah memories and personality.

My beloved chuckles bitterly, as he adds that he thought that the reason he started talking and acting like Mana was because he missed him, but it was actually because Nea was always very similar to Mana and his personality had already begun to bleed through. I shift closer, knowing better than to say anything at this point.

He blinks down at me in surprise when I place my head in his lap, letting my untied hair splay across his legs. He frowns slightly, asking if the reason I’m being so nice to him is because of Nea or because he freed me from my indecision. I smile and caress his face gently, _I’ve loved you since the first time we met._

His eyes shimmer with unshed tears and I am almost surprised when he leans down slightly to press his lips against mine.

I think I could die right now and be perfectly happy with it, for I have tasted the sweetness of his lips and there is no heaven greater than this. His lips are dry and chapped and he clearly has no experience with kissing, but this must be the best kiss I’ve ever received and I can no longer hold myself back.

He moans softly as I sit up and push him back against the bed. He stares at me with calm accepting eyes and I feel a burst of fire within my chest, an uncontrollable desire, a raging torrent of emotions. I moan his name softly as I recapture his lips, his innocence and lack of experience is so arousing as I gently but hurriedly part his lips to delve deep into his warm cavern.

Ah…ambrosia…his moans and heavy breathing are the most erotic music I have ever heard and I ache to hear more. Oh Gods…his tongue, small and nervous and absolute bliss against my own warm muscle. I trace the insides of his cheeks, the gentle curves of his gums and the smoothness of his neat rows of teeth. The taste and the feelings are indescribable as I greedily devour his mouth.

With a nibble of his lower lip and one last sweep of my tongue, I pull back to view the art I have created. For it is the most enticing art in existence and even that art loving General would have trouble portraying the beauty and sinfulness of this image. My beloved lies, sprawled out on my bed, under me, his eyes half-lidded in arousal, harsh pants escaping reddened lips as he grips the bed covers.

My eyes are drawn to the exposed flesh of his pale neck. The dark blue cloth only accents the fairness of that slender neck and I am powerless to resist. He gasps, moving his hands to grip my arms as I press my lips against his jugular, trailing butterfly kiss down the soft and smooth skin.

I pause when I reach the cloth barrier, glancing at him with a clear question in my eyes. He swallows thickly but nods, his fingers gently caressing a few strands of my hair. His confirmation is all I need and I quickly grasp the cloth, pulling the entire shirt through him, making him gasp at the sensation as I Choose not to let the cloth touch him.

He chuckles lightly at my impatience and I barely have enough mental capacity to feel embarrassed. My mouth quickly returns to his chest and his amused sounds soon turn to moans as I lap at a small pert nipple, coaxing it into hardness while I fondle the other nub.

His body is warm and I cannot resist, gently sinking my teeth into the soft flesh, drawing an erotic cry from the boy. The sweet flavour of his blood spreads through my mouth, arousing me further when he bucks his hips against my stomach, proving that he enjoys a certain level of pain during intercourse. I cannot say how fortunate this is because I don’t think I can withhold my sadistic tendencies for much longer.

I grin as I move further down his body, taking some time to worship his body. Hopefully I will have further opportunities to memorize every bump and scar on his body but for now, I am too anxious to be one with him. I finally reach his loose pants and easily dispose of them in the same way I did his shirt. He shudders and the lack of blocking fabric allows me to see that he enjoys the feeling of having something inside him when I use my powers.

I smirk as I grab a small jar of oil off the bedside table and coat two of my fingers in it. He’s eyeing me rather warily now, so I smile cheekily at him as I settle between his legs and press my hand into his abdomen, making him moan at the invasive sensation and I begin to stroke the inside of his passage, using Choose to coat the lining with oil.

I notice that he’s starting to look uncomfortable and I immediately grasp his twitching hardness, stroking it slowly and making him cry out erotically. I grin as I begin to massage his opening, coaxing it to relax while I lean down and run my tongue along his weeping erection. He moans as I take it into my mouth, savouring the soft texture of the skin of his shaft.

Naturally, I have never done this before but I once watched Momo and Clark when they thought I was sleeping and I’m confident that with my powers, I can do even better. I press my tongue against the underside of his manhood, rubbing against his glans in a way that I know feels amazing.

He is thrashing now and I remove my hand from inside him, pushing it into his entrance without the use of my powers and finding it sufficiently slick and loose. He moans at the friction and whispers my name in a breathy voice that instantly captures my attention. Hi reaches out for me, climbs into my lap and wraps his arms around me, thanking me for loving him.

I chuckle softly, telling him that it is I who should be thanking him for letting me love him and that he’s going to sleep really well when I’m done ‘loving’ him. He laughs and presses his face against my shoulder, looking playfully happy as he nods and whispers into my ear.

_Do it…_

Shit…there’s only so much a man can take, even if I am a Noah. I quickly undress and gather more oil, coating myself thoroughly before lifting his hips above my aching hardness. I press against his opening and slowly begin to ease myself into him, stroking his back soothingly as he groans at the stretch. I am not a small man after all.

Finally, I am completely seated within him and I release a shaky breath as his tight hole clenches around me while he adjusts to having something inside him. Despite the urge to move, I am happy to simply be inside him, his warm and wet and _tight_ passage encasing my shaft, his warm body pressing against me and his slender arms around my shoulders, his nails digging into my back as he pants against me.

_Ty…ki…move…_

He moans into my ear and I groan at the sound. I grasp his slim hips and smooth thighs as I slowly lift him, groaning at the delicious feeling of his heat hugging and clinging to me as though not wanting to let me go. I lower him back onto me and we moan in unison at the sensation.

He begins moving in tandem with me, our slow and erotic dance driving me insane as I struggle to control myself. He apparently realises that I am holding back because he tightens around me and thrusts his hips downwards, taking me in to the hilt at a wonderful speed. I groan loudly in shock and my hips are tingling with pleasure. My brain temporarily stalls when his expression changes and he snarls into my ear with the viciousness of a Noah’s.

_I’m not a fragile doll._

My pupils dilate and I growl as I surge forward, unable to stop myself from shoving him into the bed, bending him into half and slamming myself into him. He wails in pleasure as I press against his prostate, his nails drawing red lines in my back as I thrust into him over and over again.

I lean back slightly as I thrust, eyeing the place where we are connected and watching in perverse pleasure as my hard rod nails him repeatedly. He is rolling his hips, meeting me thrust for thrust and I realise that the dark and erotic aura coming from him is no longer Allen’s but that of a Noah’s.

He grins at me, reaching up to pull me down so that his face is pressed against my collar bone. My thrusts slow as I feel slightly unnerved, unsure what to expect from Nea even as I try to remind myself that Nea is only a complete version of my Allen.

_You want me? Work for it._

Is what he hisses before he sinks his teeth deep into my flesh, drawing blood and sending a sharp burst of pain through my body. I groan at the sting but find my hips working even faster than before, inexplicably turned on by this Allen as I buck against him with vigour.

He is moaning and panting and his gasps only serve to heighten my ecstasy and I experience the urge to completely dominate this being. Allen was beautiful in his fragile love and soft strength but Nea, Nea is Allen and more, fire and passion and stubbornness. He is everything Allen was multiplied and enhanced.

My breathing is heavy, not because this is a strenuous activity (enhanced Noah strength was very useful in these kind of situations) but because if I thought Allen was heaven, then Nea must be the hottest hell. I shove him harshly into the bed, pounding against him as he groans and growls in pleasure, tossing his head of now curled white hair.

_Hah…nnng! Ahng…heh…you’re…gonna…hah…have…to…work **harder**!_

He snarls, baring his teeth at me in a primitive manner and I feel the Noah within me respond with equal viciousness. A growl escapes me and I flip him over, pressing his chest against the bed and gripping the back of his neck as I dominate him with violent and brutal thrusts, revelling in the gasps and moans escaping him as he chokes against the bed.

He thrusts his hips back to meet mine with equal strength, reaching between his legs to stroke himself. I growl angrily and smack his hand away, pulling him up by his hair and gripping the base of his erection to prevent his climax. He struggles, clawing at my arm and snarling at me like an animal.

A part of me worries that I’m going too far, but my Noah tells me that if I back down, Nea is never going to let me near him again, or Allen for that matter. So I pull at his head back even further and sink my teeth into his neck as I continue to slam my hips against his, my balls slapping against his ass with the strength of my thrusts.

He fights for a bit more before finally giving in, gripping my arm as he goes limp. He whines as he bucks his hips, silently begging for release. I retract my teeth, lapping at the bloody wound as I smugly order him to beg, wanting him to completely submit to me, to acknowledge me as his dominative before I give him what he wants.

He groans and remains quiet even as his hardness strains against my grip and his entrance slurps greedily at my shaft. I need him to give in because I am almost at my limit, so I thrust even harder, rocking his entire body with every thrust and he cries out in unbearable pleasure before finally submitting.

_Please…let me…cum…_

I almost sigh in relief because I am about three thrusts away from cumming myself. I bite down on his neck again as I release his erection. He wails and tenses as he shoots strings of cum on my bed and I think I’ll keep these sheets forever as a memento.

I groan as his hole spasms around me, squeezing the orgasm out of me and I smirk victoriously as I mark his insides with my seed, owning him so that he will never desire any other man. I wonder if Allen knew what he was agreeing to when he let me take him…oh well, Nea wouldn’t have let me cum inside him if I hadn’t proved myself worthy.

I gently pull myself out and collapse beside him, curling my body around his as he shifts closer to me, instinctively slipping under my arm and pressing his face against my chest. A sense of accomplishment fills me. I have proven myself to him and have even had the honour of claiming the position of his protector and lover.

Well, male lover. My marking does not prevent him from taking female lovers and I suppose Nea will want to take Road to his bed as well. I can’t say that I like that idea, but it is already enough for me, to be able to hold him this way. I nuzzle his hair affectionately and he lets out a content sigh. His aura has returned to its gentle calmness, telling me that the one in my arms now is Allen and not Nea.

I ask if he feels okay, unsure how he feels about how rough I was and worried that he might be upset with me. He smiles softly and tells me that Nea already informed him of how the Noah take lovers and he had consciously decided to give me a chance. He even knew that Nea would emerge to test me and was happy that I had passed.

I smile with relief and pull him closer, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I can without hurting him. He sleepily thanks me again for loving him and I can only nod as I hold him against my side.

This must be what they call true happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whew~! That was tiring to write! Okay so basically, Allen’s going to be behaving a little differently now. I mean, if I knew that I was a shadow of someone else, I’d behave differently too.  
> Also, if you’re wondering why Allen suddenly became animalistic and then Tyki followed, it’s because I always felt that the Noah memories seem a lot like animals and it makes sense that they’d mate like animals and as everyone knows, sex is not sunshine and rainbows in the animal kingdom.  
> It’s a violent and generally painful thing, especially for the submissive. Still, I don’t want to hurt poor Allen so I’m making him a bit of a masochist to compliment Tyki’s inner sadist. I mean, Allen does seem to have some masochistic tendencies, what with diving recklessly into danger to save others and stuff. Don’t worry, this lemon was more Tyki/Nea and it was more like the two of them fighting to see who’s stronger, there’ll be another more gentle lemon for Tyki and Allen.  
> And that’s about it~! Wow, I think this is the longest chapter so far~! Please review and inspire me to write more perverted stuff for my little pervs~ ;3


	7. Facing the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The count down has begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ahhhh! I’m soooooo sorry! Gomenasai! Gomenasai! Gomenasai! I’ve been so busy lately with my O’Levels’ preparations and revisions and I’m gonna kneel over from exhaustion and stress. *sigh* The real world sucks but I’m sure you all understand priorities, I need to study hard so that I can take care of my wonderful mom in the future! So, updates for all my stories will be a lot slower for the next few months. However, Painter’s Grey should be done by the end of next month. There’s only another two or three chapters left and I swear I’ll try to update faster.  
> Now, to Jazebeth, yes, I think you’re quite tainted now~! *evil smirk* To CrimsonChains, thank you very much for your glowing praise and to everyone else who reviewed, I’m really touched that you all enjoyed my last chapter so much, this one is quite short but I hope you enjoy it too~!

_Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact._

_Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth._

_~Marcus Aurelius_

It's been three months since Allen joined us. Every day he tells me of his dreams, dreams of his past as Nea and he gradually becomes more comfortable around the other Noah. During the first few weeks, he would cling to me, seeking comfort and protection from the other Noah and only allowed myself and Road to approach him. Now, he plays pranks on us with the twins and picks fights with Fiidora while occasionally bullying Sheril.

He wasn't very happy when he found out that we kidnapped his red haired friend and the old Bookman but he got over it after we stopped torturing the redhead. He spent many hours talking with the eye-patch boy – Lavi if I'm not wrong – and Bookman finally decided to cooperate with us.

Contrary to my expectations, Allen seems to have decided not to take Road to his bed and after a secret talk between the two of them, she's been looking slightly sad. I'd feel worried for her…if not for the way she keeps looking at me and then smirking like she'd forgotten what was troubling her.

Really, it's quite unnerving.

I am rather happy for my little one. He seems quite pleased that his friend isn't upset with him for giving in to his Noah and for joining us. Though, I can't imagine why he thought anyone could remain upset at him for long. I certainly couldn't, even when he turned all my shirts pink and put yellow hair dye in my shampoo.

It was actually quite fun, having yellow hair for a week. It was a rather interesting experience and the sound of Allen's laughter and the sight of his happy face made the humiliation completely worth it.

I sigh contentedly as I gently comb my fingers through soft white hair. The soft sheets are tightly tangled around Allen's naked hips as he unconsciously nuzzles his face against my chest.

I must say that this is now my favorite time of the day. The gentle light of dawn streaming through the window, my sleeping lover curled up against my side as I bask in the wonderful morning–after feeling. Even if my arm is quite numb from him sleeping on it the whole night.

He stirs slightly and I have to wince when his finger nails dig into my skin as he stretches in his half-awake state. He blinks owlishly as he slowly awakens. His smile is breath-taking and once again I have to wonder what I did to deserve this.

The question slips out without my consent and he simply blinks at me as though not really understanding the question. I decide that I've already got one foot in the mud, so I might as well put the other in and proceed to elaborate. After all, I was technically an enemy, yet he took my hand that day and placed himself in my arms.

A contemplative expression crosses his face and his answer gives me a start. He traces the large scar across his chest and says that he had stabbed himself with his blade once. That he suspected that it had actually 'destroyed' him as well, causing him to become more accepting of Nea and to face an undeniable truth.

He really liked Tyki.

Or at least the man he met on the train almost two years ago.

I listened with wide eyes as Allen explained that he had fallen in love with me when we first met on the train just I had with him. That day when he stripped me to my underwear and completely trounced my friends and I in poker. We had actually spent a while talking after my friends and I had finally conceded defeat and were simply waiting for the end of our ride.

I still remember how oddly...not awkward our brief conversation had been. The three hours of travel, left after our big game, had been spent in quiet conversation as the other two exorcists chatted with Frank and Momo in a lively manner.

We had somehow found ourselves sitting together away from the others near the front of the cabin. I remember tiredly flopping into the seat beside Allen and offering him a bottle of complementary water. He had accepted with a beautiful smile that didn't really reach his eyes.

The two of us had talked about inconsequential things for about an hour and a half before I gave him a knowing look while pointing out that he looked tired and that always being on guard was not very good for one's health. He had seemed surprised that I saw through his smiling façade and had noticed his exhaustion.

After a while of prodding he finally decided to take a short rest and leaned against the window. It only took a few minutes before he fell asleep and I had easily pulled his discarded coat over him.

During a particularly sharp turn, the train leaned slightly to one side and Allen had unknowingly fallen against my naked shoulder. His sleeping face was filled with such loneliness and sorrow that my white side experienced a feeling that I had only associated with Eeez and my buddies.

Allen blushes lightly as he describes how comfortable he had felt while unconscious and how startled he had been when he woke to my white side's caring eyes. It had been the first time that anyone looked at him like that, and a stranger no less.

I feel slightly comforted with the knowledge that we seem to have actually began liking each other during those three hours spent on the train. Somehow, it makes me feel less like a sappy and overly romantic fool. Though I can't say my black side fell in love with him that early. That happened during our second meeting.

I grin at him as he buries his flaming face into the soft and expensive pillows. A few teasing comments and I am treated with the pleasing sight of eyes glinting yellow, right before I am pinned to the bed by my eager little lover. Well, not so little now.

_~Poker Pair~_

I grimace. This needs to happen, but I wish for my lover that it didn’t. I glance worriedly at his hard set features as we emerge at the edge of a forest. The other members of our family and the Bookman and his apprentice appear beside us and the Ark gate closes behind Adam as he steps through.

Despite my best efforts, my lips curl into a vicious smirk when the numerous black surveillance golems begin to wail in alarm, alerting the Black Order to our presence. The Noah Family have appeared near the European Branch Headquarters.

_~Poker Pair~_

The redhead converses with Allen in a hushed tone as I survey the large building. It looks…really dark. Is this really the headquarters of the ‘holy people of God’?

I mention this to Allen and his friend begins to roll on the floor in laughter. Allen smiles mildly and explains that he had felt the same why when he arrived at the first headquarters, and that one was even scarier.

I scrunch up my face and mutter something about weird churches with weird tastes. The redhead laughs at me as he has taken to doing ever since he and his mentor agreed to join us. The boy was certainly an odd one. Somehow, he seemed to have taken a liking to pranking me and using me as a source of entertainment.

I’d probably have killed him by now if Allen wasn’t so fond of the red monkey.

It’s been almost a year since Allen took my hand and left the Black Order. My beloved had finally completed his integration two weeks ago and revealed the truth about the Heart.

I’m still unsure what to believe. Many decades ago, the Millennium Earl and his followers, the Noah, led a rebellion against the favouritism given to the small and pathetic humans that were destroying our world. Finally, the humans triggered their own destruction and God decided to spite us by making us continuously respawn in their filthy bodies. Or so we thought.

Allen -he seems to prefer being called Allen- told us that the Lord had actually planned for us to be his protectors, his guardians. The ones to ensure that he would survive to complete the true purpose of the Innocence.

The Innocence had been bestowed upon chosen humans so that the Heart would grow with the experiences of the various hosts and to keep us Noah in check until the appropriate time. Apparently, that was because as Noah, we have the instinctual urge to destroy all corruption and thus, until the Heart was ready, we had to be balanced out by an opposing force, namely the Exorcists.

Like I said. I’m still rather unsure about this whole business of us Noah basically being kept alive for so many centuries just so that we can spend hundreds of years fighting until the Heart finished ‘growing’. It kinda pisses me off.

Still, I guess this means that I have twice the responsibility to protect Allen.

It had been a shock to us when he revealed that he was the keeper of the Heart and that its merging with Nea via the original Allen had been a part of ‘God’s plan’. I still feel irritated when I think of that, since it means that my beloved had had to suffer so much, all as a part of some stupid plan that no one informed us of.

I sigh as I glance at the redhead who had finally sobered up and was eyeing the approaching Exorcists with an uncharacteristically serious expression. He mutters something to Allen with a doubtful expression. I somehow managed to miss what he said -along with my lover's reply- but then he takes on a determined expression and I can pretty much guess what was said.

After all, we’re all loyal to Allen.

The group of Exorcists halt a short distance away and most of them are eyeing us warily, except for one fat idiot that is glaring at my lover, I think his name was Chaoda or something. I scan the team and recognise quite a few of them.

There’s that girl, Lenalee I think, the Japanese teen with the katana, the vampire, the woman with the clock on her shoulder, the guy with the mufflers and the fatso with the stupid glare. I also recognise the blond guy that summoned the weird girl from the last time, the head of this branch, a cardinal and the generals, Tiedoll, Nine and Socalo.

The head of this branch demands to know what we are here for and honestly, I’m wondering that myself. The only thing Allen explained was that we needed to get him to the keeper of Innocence called Hevlaska. According to him, he would use her to channel his power of Destruction into her using the Heart and she would become something of an amplifier that would cover the entire world in his power, destroying all the negativity within the hearts of humanity.

I don’t really care about any of that, I’d much rather just kill all of them but I suppose it won’t be so hard to tolerate their stench if they stank a little less. I sigh as my beloved addresses the man as Komui and tries to explain what we were trying to achieve.

Naturally, none of them seem inclined to believe that the Noah would ever do anything to ‘save humans’. After a few moments, the cardinal interrupts Allen’s explanation and steps forward. I tense when he glares at my beloved as though he wants to attack the teen himself and loudly, in a commanding tone, orders the Exorcists to attack.

We brace ourselves when the fatso charges forward. A protective fury rushes through me and I quickly move to intercept the blow directed at my lover. I easily absorb the blow, gripping his fist tightly in my palm. The fatso glares at me and I glare back at him, how dare he so brazenly attack my beloved?

A low growl rips itself from my throat and I bare my teeth at him in a threatening manner. This battle is for Allen. I couldn’t care less about the humans or some God ordained duty. All that matters is my beloved.

And I will not let any harm come to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Summary time~! So, basically, I figured that it was odd that the anime and manga never showed what happened after Tyki got stripped and I guess it’s cause they’re not gonna show a bunch of almost naked guys for too long. So, since I’m sure the train ride lasted a while longer after the poker game, I gave them a little back story.  
> I also made Lavi join Allen and the Noah because I always felt that he was never really loyal to the Black Order but more to Bookman and Allen. Since Bookman’s fine either way, as long as they get to record history, I figured that it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to imagine Lavi joining the Noah if Allen did.  
> If you haven’t read the latest chapters, it may be hard to understand what Lavi was doing at the Kamelot mansion but if you have, then you’d know that Lavi and Bookman had actually been kidnapped by Fiidora in an attempt to get info about the 14th. Also, I always felt that the ‘real’ Allen would be the pranking type. Don’t ask me why, maybe it’s the few shots of Red that we saw in the manga.  
> The whole 'God's plan' thing is basically that the Noah were supposed to protect the chosen person (Allen) who would use the Heart to cleanse the world of hate and the Exorcists were supposed to 'grow' the Heart till it was ready to be used because the Heart had to learn for itself what was negative and positive by living through its hosts through the centuries. The original Allen was granted control of the Heart but he needed his Noah side to use it properly. So he (by 'God's plan') merged with Nea (his 'other half') and now he's able to use the Heart to destroy the hate of humanity.  
> Also, the Noah's destructive tendencies and the Innocences' need to grow, balance each other out, keeping them in a never ending struggle that will ensure that both parties remain 'in existence' until Allen and the Heart were ready to fulfil their 'destiny'. Sounds kinda cruel no? Yeah, I’m evil like that x3  
> Oh, and if you know a Chinese dialect called Hokkien, then you should be able to get the joke that I made with Chaoji's name~ If you don't, then let’s just say that 'chao da' in Hokkien means burnt. XD  
> And that’s it for now, I really hope you guys can forgive me for vanishing for so long. Please review to tell me how you feel about this chapter, and maybe I’ll be extra motivated to momentarily shuck my studies to write~ xD


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